It's Not All Fun and Games . . . . .

My sister and I had been trying to get Lucy#1 to move in with me for about five years before she finally did so. We have had grave concerns about her health. She has COPD (she started smoking at age 19); osteoporosis (resulting in a hip that broke when she stood up one evening); poor eating habits (TV dinners, chocolate candy, Coke, iced tea, and coffee); and unsteadiness on her feet. She denies or pooh-poohs most of these issues, of course, and accuses us of conspiring against her if either of us mentions them.

In the last few months prior to her finally moving in here, we added dementia to our worry list. She sometimes cannot come up with words in conversation; she forgets a conversation from twenty (or fewer) minutes ago. These are not uncommon signs of aging. What concerns us is that she is now forgetting things that occurred in the more-distant past. She tells stories we’ve heard a million times, but now the participants at events have changed and/or the endings of the stories are different. She looks at photographs and doesn’t know who is pictured unless it’s a family member or very close friend. For probably ten years, our parents had a 14x16 photograph of my sister and me hanging in their living room. Over Mother’s Day weekend this year, while we were helping her sort and box things for her move up here, she saw that photograph and asked where I had gotten it because she had never seen it before. The very fact that she uses the word “conspiring” suggests the paranoia common in people with dementia.

Lucy#1’s mother had dementia. Serious dementia. She ultimately didn’t recognize anyone, and my understanding is that she basically starved to death because she forgot how to chew and swallow. My sister and I think Grandma’s symptoms were first obvious around the time she was 77 – Lucy#1’s current age.

If we dwelt on this, we would be scared to death.

So – we don’t dwell on it. But neither do we discount it. I’m preparing nutritious meals. I’ve gotten her to switch to decaf iced tea at home. I make sure she drinks at least one Ensure every day. I’m giving her a little more grace time, but soon I will take her to see a doctor here. We'll see what the doctor says and go from there.